“The greatest
good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him
his own.”-- Benjamin Disraeli
"Why can't you be like your sister, her bedroom is always neat and orderly?"
"Why are you such a poor sport. It doesn't matter who wins, I don't think I'll play any more games with you."
"You need to be more friendly when we have guests over. You just sit there and never open your mouth!"
"Hurry up, we don't have all day. You need to learn how to make quicker decisions."
Have you ever caught yourself thinking similar thoughts as to those just presented? Worse yet, have you ever caught yourself saying them to your child? Don't beat yourself up. This is how we are conditioned. We think everyone should react to the world the same way we do and when they don't as a parent, we think it's our duty to correct them or try to change them.
What if you realized that being neat and orderly is a distinct, rare talent that resonates within your daughter's soul but doesn't click with your son? What if you understood that wanting to win so bad that it affects your mood, is actually a sign of having the talent for competition? While in it's raw form, competition isn't very pretty but when turned into a strength it can give an individual an intense, rare drive to do their best. It moves them to do things that the average person would never be able to accomplish.
What if you realized that your child's reluctance to speak to new people isn't a sign of being too shy but that they prefer to relate and build relationships in a slow, quiet, more intimate manner than others who thrive in social situations where they have to speak to strangers?
What if you understand that your child has the talent of deliberation and needs time and space to make decisions--that quick decisions are uncomfortable and painful, but given time to mull over the options the child can create sound, firm, informed decisions.
“Every child has gifts, which parents can help them unwrap.”
What if you understand that your child has the talent of deliberation and needs time and space to make decisions--that quick decisions are uncomfortable and painful, but given time to mull over the options the child can create sound, firm, informed decisions.
“Every child has gifts, which parents can help them unwrap.”
Understanding how each of our family members think, how they
solve problems and build relationships, what they most want, how they are
motivated, and why they act the way they do and to apply this understanding as
you interact with each other is a powerful notion. Great things can happen
within our families as we recognize each other’s talents and encourage them to
develop them into strengths and then find opportunities for them to do what
they do best.
Help your children reach their true potentials by nurturing
the talents they possess. "When we tell children who they should be instead of
helping them discover who they are, we clip their wings and steal a piece of
their identity. When we support them in growing their strengths, we free them
to fly!"--Beech Acres Parenting Center
Watch my next blog post which will share ways that parents can become talent scouts and identify talents in others.
Copyright, 2015, Brenda R. Carlos, All Rights Reserved.
Watch my next blog post which will share ways that parents can become talent scouts and identify talents in others.
Copyright, 2015, Brenda R. Carlos, All Rights Reserved.
Wonderful, important things to remember. My children are each so different from me that it is often difficult for me to understand how to help them develop into their best selves, but just allowing them to is the first step.
ReplyDeleteFocus on who the child is, not what we want them to be.
ReplyDelete"Every child has gifts, which parents can help them unwrap.”
Our gift to them is to let their gift out.